Beneath the Surface
by swenglish
Summary: A phonecall late at night turns Ryan's life upside down. Will the Cohen's be there for support or will he have to fight this battle alone?
1. Default Chapter

  


Beneath the surface - Chapter 1 

_Ryan, it's me, your mom. I need to talk to you. It's urgent. Can you meet me at the mall tomorrow? Don't be late." _The words had etched in his mind and his thoughts trailed away to what she had said. Why did she want to meet him now and why did it sound so urgent? 

She'd called him late last night, long after he went to bed, and with an upset voice told him that she wanted to meet him up personal and that it was very urgent. When he'd pressed her on why she wanted to meet him she'd told him that she couldn't talk and then hung up. 

He had felt like a fool, standing there with the phone in his hand. When Sandy had asked him if everything was all right he'd just shrugged it off with a "Just peachy" and then went back to the poorhouse. The whole night had been spent thinking why she had called him. 

It had been several months since the morning she left after the disastrous party that had started fine but ended up in chaos. She had been so drunk that she had fallen flat on her ass and embarrassed herself as well as the Cohen's. The vision of her walking down the stairs, all dressed up and happy, had followed him for months. He'd been so very proud of her. Then when she had been so drunk it was like the dream of having a mother had crushed and he became angry but also very sad. When she had left him without a word he swore that he would never talk to her again. That was until last night when she'd called him up and soon he was about to stand face to face to her again. 

It was the last period of the day and he couldn't wait until he got out of there. The class was history and they had Mr Crownfield, the schools toughest teacher. He knew that he should listen to the man talking about Kings and Queens in Europe but it was too hard to concentrate. The subject was boring but there was other stuff on his mind too. This morning after breakfast Sandy and Kirsten had asked him who called last night. He'd lied and told them it was Marissa wondering something about homework. They hadn't pressed on but it was clear that they didn't believe him either. 

For some strange reason he didn't want to tell the Cohen's that his mother had called, especially not since he had a bad hunch about it all. Chances were that if they both knew, Kristen and Sandy would have volunteered to go with him to the mall. Like he was some kind of young kid. His mother had also made it clear that she wanted to meet him alone so telling someone was not an option. 

Talking to Seth was out of the question since his "brother" suffered from the flu virus that was going around and was sound asleep when he left for school. Ryan had been lucky enough not to catch it even though at this moment he would have nothing against it since it would have been a possible excuse to get out of the meeting. The mere thought of talking to his mother sent butterflies to his stomach. What if she would tell him that he had to come and live with her again? What if he had to leave the Cohen's and Marissa? What if he had to leave everything that he started to build up here? 

Ryan sighed. 

Even if Seth had been well enough to listen he wasn't sure that he would have said anything to him. Mainly because every time he mentioned something about his past, his family back home, Seth got something dark in his eyes. At times it was like he didn't want to acknowledge that Ryan had a past. That he had another family and that he'd grew up in Chino and not Newport. Those rare times when Ryan told something about his past Seth often acted weird. He would place an arm around his friends shoulder and then say with a false cheerful tone that those things happened in the past and now everything is different. 

But was it really that different? 

He was still the kid from Chino. The outsider that was fortunate enough to get shelter with the Cohen's. The lucky bastard that got to start a new life. 

**"Atwood!"** The booming voice of his history teacher Mr Crownfield sounded in the class room. 

Jerking back from his thoughts he looked up just to be met with the teacher's hard eyes. "Have you listened to a word I've said Atwood?" The tall bald-headed man asked with a frown. Every head in the classroom turned in his direction, making him feel very uncomfortable at the sudden attention he'd attracted. 

"Eh..Uh I'm sorry sir." Ryan swallowed hard, his head throbbing from the lack of sleep and stomach churning from being nervous. 

"Mr Atwood I don't know what you're used to where you come from but here students pay attention when their teachers talk." He looked sternly at Ryan who sat up straighter in his chair. "Now will you kindly tell the class about why England's king killed his young wife?" 

Ryan swallowed hard. He had no idea what to say since he hadn't listened to a word that had been said. Staring down in his history book he hoped that the bald headed teacher would let him get off this time without further questioning. 

"Well Atwood, I'm waiting." The teacher tapped impatiently with his stick against his desk. The sound made Ryan even more nervous and he felt like he was being pressed into a hole. "If you stopped being up all night partying maybe you would pay more attention to what's being taught in the lessons." 

Ryan nodded. There was no way he was going to tell the teacher the real reason for him being awake all night. He would rather bite the bullet. 

"Since you haven't paid attention to this lesson I'm going to give you extra homework. I want you to read pages 654 to 715 by tomorrow and then I want you to do a paper on the king I've devoted this whole lesson to. The king that you so comfortable dismissed. 

He groaned inwardly. The last thing he wanted to do was to be cooped up in the pool house having to read history. Yet there was not much he could do about it now. He would have to deal with the homework when coming back from the meeting with his mother. 

As soon as the teacher was out of his view Luke leaned over to him and said with a hushed tone, "Dude, you were lucky just to get out off with homework. Crownfield is known to be the teacher that gives out most detentions in school. He's a real hardass." 

Ryan nodded. 

"I heard that Mr Ward!" The teacher's voice boomed. Turning to the two students he went on," "Since you ," he laid his hand on Luke's shoulder, "were so eager to point out that I'm an hardass as you call it then I better fulfil my reputation." He paused while looking at them, "Therefore I've decided to give you both one hour detention. Effecting immediately after class!" There was a noise of surprise going in the classroom. Mr Crownfield had served in the military when young and this was often noticed in his way of serving out detentions. 

Ryan groaned. Having homework was bad but why was he getting an hours detention on top of everything? Especially when he'd done nothing wrong? Luke who knew how the teachers mind operated hushed him down. Disobeying or mouthing back was the worst anyone could do and it would only serve to more trouble. _"Don't,"_ he whispered. 

Ryan sat there in silence. There was no way he could do this today. Not when his mother needed him. Rubbing a hand across his face he did his best to turn his attention to the book but it was hard since all he could think off was how to get out of the situation. 

The time seemed to tick away so slow that it was painful and when the class was finally over Ryan felt nervousness creep up inside of him. Getting up from his seat he desperately hoped that the teacher had forgotten all about his detention when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. 

"Where do you think you're going Atwood?" 

Turning around he was met with the teacher's cold eyes. 

"I..I.." His mouth felt like cotton and it was hard to find the words. He really had to get to his mother or he was afraid that she wouldn't wait up for him until he was done with the detention. Part of him wanted so bad to tell the teacher his reasons for leaving but one look at the older man told him that it would be useless. All that would happen was that it would slip out, first to Luke and then to the Cohen's and the reaction wouldn't be too nice. On top of that he feared that he wouldn't be able to leave anyways so it was better to keep his mouth shut. 

"Sit down then..I didn't give you permission to leave did I?" The teacher pressed him down in his desk. 

Ryan tried desperately to find a way out. Things like this had always made him all jittery. He'd never liked talking and in the past words had not been his way of expressing things. In Chino it was the fists that did the talking and if a situation like this had happened over there he had walked out of the classroom not bothering to ask for permission to get out off the detention. But in Newport it was something else. Here he had to learn to defend himself with words. 

His head hurt from reading since the text blurred all the time making him have to start all over again all the time. When the teacher walked back to his desk, Luke leaned towards him again, "What's your problem dude. Why are you so nervous?" He added with a smile, "Is Marissa waiting for you?" 

"No." Ryan shook his head. He thought several seconds before deciding on telling the truth. After all Luke was the one that he had shared his secret with about his dad being gay, even if it was an accident that was not supposed to be found out. "It's my mom. She called me yesterday and wanted to meet me at the mall..right after school." 

"Oh..What a bummer," Luke said. "I wished I'd kept my big mouth shut and then you would have been able to go." 

Ryan said nothing but deep inside he thought the same. Still he let nothing on. "It´s ok man." 

"No it's not. Pretend to go to the bathroom and I'll cover for you." 

"Atwood, Ward," Crownfield interrupted them with a harsh tone, "ladies. I didn't say that you could talk, did I?" He looked sternly at them. 

"No." Ryan shook his head but at the same time wishing he hadn't done so since it only made his headache intensifying a knot. 

"Good then NO talking." The teacher boomed from the front of the classroom. 

With a sigh Ryan turned back his attention to the textbook. Time was passing so slowly and he kept glancing at his watch, counting the minutes that he was going to be late. When only fifteen minutes had passed, he was actually having a hard time sitting still. There were no telling if his mom would wait for him and if she wasn't he didn't know when he would be able to see her the next time. She hadn't left any phone number for him and when she'd called last night it had been from a phone booth. 

Ryan decided he had to do something about the situation. The more he thought about not being there for his mom when she needed him, the worse he felt. He couldn't let her down. After all she was the one that had called him, needing his help. In his mind he was trying to find an escape route when it suddenly struck him. Hadn't Luke told him to pretend to go to the bathroom? And that he would cover for him? With that in mind a strategy folded out in his mind. 


	2. Beneath the Surface Chapter 2

  


Beneath the surface - Chapter 2 

"Mr Crownfield?" 

"Yes?" The teacher looked up from his books, irritation shining in his eyes. He didn't like being disturbed, especially not by brats like Atwood and Ward. In his book they were nothing but trouble. Especially the Atwood kid that came from Chino. 

"Excuse me sir..But..but..May I be excused to go to the bathroom?" Ryan tried to make his voice sound as urgent as possible so the teacher wouldn't say no. 

It didn't work. 

"No!" The answer was short. Ryan's predicament didn't get any pity from him. Kids like him always tried to find excuses. 

Ryan opened his mouth to ask again when Luke cut in. "Mr Crownfield I really think you should let Ryan go. He's been complaining about a stomach ache all day and judging from how green he looks I wouldn't hold him up for very long. "He nodded knowingly towards Ryan who made a face just to state his point." Maybe I'm mistaking but it looks like he's about to barf!" 

Ryan frowned. Did he really look that bad? Ok he was nervous about meeting his mom but he didn't think it was as bad as Luke played out on him. For once his acting skills back in Chino came to his advantage and he pressed his hand firmly to his stomach, "Yes Mr Crownfield," he moaned, "My stomach hurts real bad and I think I've got a fever." He held up a hand towards his forehead just like a drama queen. In the corner of his eye he spotted Luke frowning. Maybe he was over exaggerating a bit too much. Toning it down he added, "The flu is going around at our house and Seth caught it. I'm afraid I might have caught it too." 

"Is that so?" The teacher looked doubtful at his young student. Not believing him, still not wanting to take any chances. 

"Yes sir," he groaned as to state his point, "Please sir..let me go. I promise I´ll be fast." 

The teacher looked like he was going to say no when Luke added, "Yeah dude..you don´t look so good. You better run or you wont make it." 

Those last words had the teacher change his mind and he said with a nasal voice, "Alright...But make it quick." 

"Yes sir." Ryan stood up to leave when Luke grabbed him in his arm whispering,_ "I hope it's worth it because we going to get hell for this if we are going to get caught."_ There was a smile toying at his lips as he said the words. His friend nodded gratefully at him before adding, "It is...Thanks man." With that he strode to the front of the class room. 

The teacher held his arm. "This better be for real Atwood or you will be having so much detention that you won't see the sunlight for weeks." He then added with a threatening tone, "You better not do anything stupid. I'm warning you." 

Ignoring the last comment Ryan pretended to be in an awful hurry and placing a hand to his mouth he rushed out of the door. As soon as the door slammed behind him he ran through the corridor. There was not much time to spare and he was already late as it was. Out on the school yard he picked up his bike and then rode as fast as he could to the mall that was luckily situated not far from their school. He was fifteen minutes late already to their meeting and he had about half an hour to make it back to the school without the teacher suspecting anything terribly wrong. 

'Please,' he begged, 'Please let her be there.' He peddled as fast as he could. Reaching the mall he didn't have time to park his bike and instead threw it down on the concrete before rushing through the glass doors. The guards were looking at him curiously and he could sense them following his way towards the escalators as their eyes burned a whole in his back. This was a feeling he knew way to well from when he lived in Chino. It was he feeling of being followed and even if he was a Newport citizen now he still suspected that it would follow him as long as he lived. 

Marked for life. 

His mom had told him to meet her outside the famous Sawbuck's cafe. Taking several steps at the time he ran up the elevator nearly knocking down people in the process. "Excuse me," he panted to the muttering people as he ran past them hoping that he would make it. Once he reached the top level he had to stop himself to gain his breath. His heart was pounding hard and for a moment it felt like blood vessels would burst from the exhaustion. Not wanting to stop he ran through the mall to the opposite side where his mother should be waiting for him. 

Expecting to see her standing there, her blond hair in a ponytail, he was met with nothing but emptiness. 

There was nobody ouside the cafe. Taking a second look to make sure he hadn't misread a sign, even though he had been there several times before, maybe that's the reason she wouldn't show up? 

'She probably got tired of waiting and went inside to get a coffee,' he mentally reasoned as he opened the door to the cafe. It was just as empty inside as it was outside and only a few tables were occupied. None with his mother. He glanced nervously towards the restroom. 'Maybe she is in there. 'He thought even if he deep inside knew that it wouldn't be the case. Feeling the despair wash over him he suddenly felt all energy drain away. With his head hanging low he walked up to the girl by the coffee machine. 

"Excuse me," he did his best to make his voice as steady as possible. 

"Yes?" The brunette looked up from where she was stacking paper cups. She smiled kindly at him. "What would you like to order?" 

"Eh huh..nothing." he mumbled as he fidgeted nervously in front of the counter. 

"Ok." She frowned. Probably wondering what he was doing in there if he was not going to order. 

"Eh...Did you see a woman walk in here...about...About this tall," he stuttered, gesturing with his hand his mother's height. "Blond hair. Blue eyes." 

"There are lots of people fitting that description," the Brunette said. "Today has been pretty slow however so there hasn't been much guests and No...No one of the guests had that description. I think." 

"Ok." Ryan felt his shoulders shag. Hanging his head low he wanted to leave the place so bad. She had lied to him but then what had he expected? There had been so many times when she told him that she would show up only to be late or not come at all. This was no different from the before and it always ended the same way. Her apologising and him feeling miserable. 

He wanted to kick himself for believing her, but then it was his fault, wasn't it? He was the one that had stood her up this time by not paying attention in class and then getting that stupid detention. He was the one that had let her down this time. 

Now when would he get to see her again? He'd fucked up big time and he was now paying the price. 

Preparing to leave he heard the brunette call back to him, "You ok sweetie?" 

Nodding he didn't turn around, just walked out of the door towards the escalators. He wanted to leave, wanted to get out of the place or he feared he would get sick. 

"Hold on honey," The Brunette called out. He stopped. Turning around he saw her run towards him, "Wait..I had to go on errand and then Angela, the other girl I work with was in charge. I can ask her if she have seen a woman of your description coming in to the cafeteria today. 

"Ok." For a moment Ryan felt a shred of hope light in his eyes and he walked sullenly back with the girl. Having no hopes he leaned against the counter, waiting for her to come back. The headache he had all day was getting worse and there was a cold feeling in his stomach. Maybe it wasn't just the nerves that were playing a game with him. Maybe he was getting Seth's flu. 

Catching a glance at his watch he saw that he had to leave or the game he and Luke was playing would get revealed. Probably with a worse punishment to expect. With that in mind he turned on his heel and started to walk down the stairs. "Wait!" This time it was another girl. Turning around he saw a black girl with long Rasta braids standing there, waving with a white envelope in her hand. " Are you Ryan?" 

"Yes?" He stopped his action, puzzled. 

"Great. I'm Angela." The black girl smiled at him, showing off some white teeth. "Sheila told me that you were looking for a blond woman and yes she has been here. She left about ten minutes ago." 

Ryan breathed out of relief. "She was? She did?" 

"Yes." Angela nodded, "She seemed in a bit of a hurry though and she told me to give this to the boy that would come in looking for her." She smiled towards him again as she handed him the white envelope. "It's your mom, isn't it?" 

"Uh..yes.." Surprised over the sudden question but also grateful being handed the envelope he asked, "Why do you think so?" 

"Because you two have the same eyes." Another toothy white smile. "Just as beautiful." 

Ryan blushed. "Did she say anything else?" 

"No, just that.." Angela shook her head, "Oh wait," she called out like she had suddenly remembered something, "She said that you would understand once you read the letter." 

"Ok. Thanks" Ryan was not a man with many words. "Was she alone?" The mere thought that she was back with AJ scared him just as much. 

"Mmm..Yeah I think she was." 

Tucking the letter inside his pants and then pulling his shirt over he thanked her again before leaving the cafeteria. He wanted so desperately to read the letter, yet he had to be back at school or Luke would get hell for backing him up. With that in mind he ran down the escalators again and then through the glass doors. The guards were eyeing him again, this time calling out for him to stop but he didn't pretend to hear them. They did nothing to follow him either so maybe they didn't think he stole anything. 

Jumping on the bike he once again rode as fast as he could back to school. He was panting hard and for a moment feared that he would pass out from exhaustion, still he didn't let up. Luke was saving his ass and he couldn't let his friend down. Not two persons he cared for the same day. Running down the corridor sweat poured off him like he had raced a marathon or suffered from high temperature. Black spots danced in front of his eyes and the ringing in his ears told him that he was close to passing out. 

Normally Ryan had a good condition but today he was on the verge of exhaustion, both mentally and physically. 

The door opened and Mr Crownfield walked out of the room. "Atwood?" he said with surprise. "Where have you been?" 

Finding himself quickly he murmured, "In the bath..bathroom sir." His tone was a mixture of nervousness and exhaustion. Closing his eyes he steadied himself against the door post, waiting for the scolding to begin. 

A hand was placed on his shoulder. "You don't look so good." The teacher's unfriendly tone was changed to a softer one and looking up he saw a hint of concern in the teacher's otherwise cold eyes. "I was wondering where you went since you did not return in the period of time that I think is appropriate for a bathroom visit." A frown was etched on his forehead. 

"I´m..I´m sorry," the teen stutter back, sounding more pitiful then he intended to. "I think I might have caught the flu. It hit me so sudden and it's kind of bad." He coughed to state his mark. 

"I can see that," the teacher said guiding Ryan back to his desk. Upon entering the room Luke looked up from his book, a smile toying at his lips when he saw his friend. Mr Crownfield spotted it instantly. Not amused at all. "Wipe that smug grin out of your face Mr Ward," he ordered. 

The grin faded. Turning to Ryan he said, "How you doing man? You look like cr..I mean you don't look good." Luke corrected his language seeing the teacher raise an eyebrow in disgust. 

"I'm Ok," Ryan said with a shrug. 

When the answer wasn't as convincing he turned towards the old school teacher, "See I told you that he wasn't feeling so hot." Mr Crownfield frowned. Luke was talking way too much. "He was throwing up when I went to see him in the bathroom." 

"I was?" Ryan said, "I mean I was." He corrected instantly before the teacher would have any other ideas. Holding his palm towards his forehead he mumbled, "I feel really sick. Maybe I should go home." 

"Yeah dude.." Luke nodded. "You look bad dude. Let's hope you don't have what Seth has." He scrunched his nose. "The flu is pretty bad this year. Aar had it and he was sick as he..I mean very sick." 

Mr Crownfield looked at him with disbelief. It was clear that Luke Ward wasn't one of his brightest students and he had always disliked that kid. It was no wonder that his dad had turned up to be a homo. With a sigh he turned to Ryan, "If you're that sick maybe you should call the Cohen's and let them come and pick you up." 

Upon hearing this Ryan felt fright ran down his spine. If there were one thing he couldn't do it was to bother Kirsten or Sandy. Especially not when he was not ill at all. "No that's ok. I can ride on my bike." 

"Nonsense," the teacher said as he took notice of his student's sudden change in health. "You can't go on a bike in this condition. I can give them a call." 

"No..It´s really..It´s ok." Ryan sat up straighter on the chair. Suddenly feeling like this was not such a good idea after all. Now he would have to pretend to be sick in the Cohen's household all afternoon and that meant that he would have to skip meeting Marissa but also that he couldn't continue with his investigation about his moms whereabouts. 

"I can drive him." Luke butted in. 

Ryan smiled inwardly. Who would have thought that Luke was the one to save his ass when he'd first arrived at Newport? At that time they were enemies, fighting over the same girl. Now they were buddies. Ever since they found out that Luke's dad was gay. 

"That is nice of you Mr Ward but I think that Ryan's parents are the one that should pick him up." 

For a moment Ryan sensed something more beside concern in the teacher's voice and something told him that the older man was onto his escape. Judging from that he thought it was better to give up. To play along. 

"Ok." He said with a moan. "That's really nice of you." Deep inside him hoped that neither Sandy nor Kirsten would be reachable. 

"Good then it's settled. I'll go make the call." With that the teacher left the room. As soon as they were alone Luke turned to him. "What did she say?" 

Looking down on the desk the teen mumbled silently, "Nothing." 

"Nothing?" Luke looked puzzled. "How come." 

Deep sigh. "She left already. " His tone was sad. 

"She had? Aww man that was bad. Man" 

"Yeah. I know. "But she left me this," He patted at his stomach. "A letter." 

"Oh." Luke looked curiously at his friend. "You read it yet?" 

"No didn't have time. " He shook his head. "Besides I want to do it tonight when everything is peace and quiet. Feeling the need to change the subject he added, "Dude I want to thank you for saving my ass." 

"No problems man." Luke grinned. "What don't you do for friends? Really it was nothing. I still can't believe that Mr Crownfield bought it." 

"Bought what?" Ryan's head was aching so much that it was hard to think and for a moment it felt like he was coming on with something. For real! 

"That you were sick. You know after you had been out for a while he wanted to go and see how you were doing when I volunteered. At first he wouldn't let me but then I talked him into it and I came back telling him that you felt really bad. At first he didn't believe me and then he said that he would give you a few minutes and then he would check for himself. I about died man when you came into the room. If you had been just a few minutes late he would have found out about our scam." 

"I think he already did." Ryan said silently. 

"What? No way. That was water proof." 

"No it wasn't." Ryan shook his head. "I can see it in his eyes. He knows that I'm not sick. Why else would he want to call my parents? It's not like I'm a kid you know." 

Luke thought for a moment. "Yeah..Yeah maybe you're right. But if he knows why didn't he do something about it then? Give you more detention? Give ME more detention?" 

"I don't know." Ryan sighed. "Maybe he's waiting until he's got something more on me. I really don't know." He was suddenly feeling very tired. 

"Ok..But anyways dude..We managed to pull it off. 

"Yeah we did." Ryan smiled back and the two guys high fived each other at the same time as the teacher walked into the room. 

"What's so funny?" Mr Crownfield asked, his small pig like eyes staring them into the back. 

Ryan didn't know what to say but Luke was fast with words. Being the male pig that he was he added, "Ryan here let out a burp so big that it had to be saluted." 

Mr Crownfield shook his head in disgust. "That is gross Ward" Ryan bit back his laughter. Turning to the "sick teen" he continued, "Ryan I called your parents and Kirsten will pick you up in a few minutes. She sounded really worried that you caught the same bug as young Mr Cohen. 

Upon hearing the words Ryan felt his heart kick up a knot. She was at home. Now what would he do? "She did?" He did his best not to sound surprised, "Yeah maybe I have. I feel bad enough anyway." 

"You boys I have something to say to you." Mr Crownfield looked both Ryan and Luke in their eyes. 

Expecting the worst. That Mr Crownfield had caught them with their pants down. Revealed their hoax Ryan swallowed hard. Closing his eyes he waited for the scowling to begin. 

But no such thing came. 

"I'm sorry if I doubted you boys but there are so many excuses to get out of detention that I thought that this was just one of them." He looked at Ryan who could feel his face blushing, "Especially when you said that you had to go so abruptly." He laughed, "There for once I thought that you guys were pulling my leg and you," he pointed at Ryan, "had left the school or something." 

This was starting to feel more and more awkward and Ryan was doing his best to keep his face. He kept his mouth shut so not anything would slip that could reveal the hoax they had been playing. 

"But when I talked to your mom Kirsten and I found out that it was true what you had been telling me. That the flu virus was really going in your family and I realised that you guys were telling the truth and now I want to apologise." 

The words left Ryan feeling bad, almost nauseous. Here he'd been doing just what the teacher had feared he would do and now the teacher apologised for not believing at him. It was surreal, that was what it was. He thought about telling the truth when he spotted Luke shaking his head widely, like he was reading his mind, and then decided against it. The teacher would feel worse if he knew what his students had done and some things were better left unsaid. "That's ok," he said silently as he picked up his backpack, intended to go outside and wait for Kirsten to come and get him. 

Kirsten. That was another problem he hadn't thought of. His foster mother wouldn't be too happy if she found out that he had been lying, skipping detention and also blew one of his teachers by his nose. On top of everything she wasn't as easily fooled as Mr Crownfield. And what would happen when she found out that he wasn't sick for real and was faking it all? Would he be in for another punishment? 

Suddenly he didn't feel so relaxed anymore..... 


	3. Beneath the Surface Chapter 3

  
Beneath the surface - Chapter 3 

The moment Kirsten set her eyes upon Ryan she saw that there was something wrong with him. But it was not the flu which you could easily suspect at the first sight, being pale enough. No there was something else. She could see it in his blue eyes and she'd seen it before. 

Twice. 

The first time when Ryan came to live with them after he'd been left by his mother. The second time was after that time when Dawn had left him after that disastrous party where she'd made a fool out of herself as well as the whole Newport. But mostly out of Ryan. Kirsten had been so mad at that point, not for her own sake but for the young sixteen year old that deserved a better life than his mother being drunk and hitting on men. Sandy had as always been the one to calm her down and he'd told him that even if Kirsten didn't like Dawn she was still Ryan's mom and he loved her. And if she ever wanted to win his heart she had to stop acting like she owned the boy and stop trying so hard to be a mother. At first she'd refused to listen to her husbands words but as she calmed down she started to realize that he might be right. Ryan needed his old life; he needed his mom, even if that would mean that he would get hurt. Over and over again. 

Even though Ryan had said nothing about the late night phone call yesterday, part of her suspected that his condition had something to do with it. She had to bit back her questions about the subject, especially since Sandy told her to do so. Her husband seemed to have a knack in getting into the young boy skin while he always seemed so uncomfortable around her. She hoped that it had to do with him not like woman but she suspected that he didn't feel at ease around her just because she was his foster mother. 

Ryan was someone that needed his privacy and even if it hurt her she went along and played his game. If her son didn't feel comfortable enough to share his problems with her she had to wait until he felt fit to do so. Even if that would mean lots of time to spend. 

What more had her a bit confused was that he was late from class. When Mr Crownfield had called her to pick Ryan up he hadn't said anything why her son was having a class at that time a day. Thursdays were usually the day when Ryan finished school early and now it was later that he used to be back. Upon asking him why he was late he'd answered that he had a paper to due tomorrow and just needed some help with that. Not pushing on anything further she'd left it with that even if she suspected that there were more. More than met the eye. A small noise from the teenager cut through her thoughts and turning her head she caught him just in time to see him stroke his stomach. The moves made her concerned. "Are you all right honey? Is it your stomach that is acting up again? You want me to stop?" She did her best to play along with the game that they both participated in. Not wanting to take any chances, in case it wasn't just a game, she sat her foot on the breaks, ready to hit the pedal if help was needed. 

"No." 

His answer was short as if she'd scared him. Instantly he put his hand away from his stomach and his gesture made her frown. He was acting out of character, almost like he was guarding something and like he was afraid she was onto his secret. Frowning she decided that she could be imagining things and that his pale appearance could be because he was actually coming down with something. 

"You sure?" He hadn't sounded too convincing and she wanted to be on the safe side that everything was ok with her son, even if she suspected the opposite. 

"Yeah." He nodded before turning back to look out of the window again. 

"Ok if you say so." The silence in the car was so deafening that she felt like she had to do, had to say something to make it less tense. "Hun I know that you don't feel very good right now but do you think that we can stop by the drugstore so I can buy some cough medicine for Seth? His been coughing an awful lot this morning." She smiled gently at him. 

"Sure." His tone was dull. 

"Thank you Ryan.. I'll promise I'll be fast so that we can get you in bed when we come home. Also I can pick up some over the count medication for your stomach if you want." 

"No that's Ok." He was polite as always. "I'm fine." 

"OK." Kirsten sighed. She wished that there was an easy way to get through the boys mind and how much she tried she didn't seem to be able to break through his barrier. Not like Sandy. With that she parked the car, reassured him once more that she was going to be back soon again and then hurried into the drugstore. She set her steps straight to the shelves where they sold flu medication. Scanning the area a well known voice called out for her, "Kirsten! I didn't know that you had a day off!" 

Turning around she was met with Mrs Audrey Blake. Newport's worst gossiper. She was the one that had spread all of the nasty, but sometimes true rumours out there and what she didn't know about you was not worth knowing. In other words she was one nasty person that you didn't want digging through your closet. 

"I don't" The answer was short. 

"Oh.." Mrs Blake looked surprised. "I thought you had it really busy over at the office." 

"We are."Kirsten said shortly while picking up a bottle of Nyquil as well as a bottle of cough syrup and a box of Tylenol. "Seth is at home sick with the flu." That was all the explanation she was going to give away. While picking a bottle a Pepto Bismol and putting it in her basket Audrey's hawk eyes took notice of her actions. 

""It looks like he is not well at all." The woman nodded towards the basket. "My sister's daughter had it and she was sick for almost two weeks. I hope he is doing better soon since I've heard that the flu bug is kind of rough this year." A fake concerned expression was plastered on her face. "Did that boy from Chino that you have staying at your house catch it too?" She scratched her head like she was thinking. "Ra…Ry…No I never seem to remember his name." There were a light chuckle. 

"Ryan you mean? " Mrs Audrey Blake was so annoying that all Kirsten aimed for was this shopping to be over and done with so she could join Ryan in the car. She'd never liked nosy people and this woman was starting to cross the line. "And no answer your question; No he hasn't." Kirsten wasn't about to tell the fact that Ryan had left class earlier on due to an alleged flu bug, besides this woman was starting to get on her nerves. 

"Oh!" The woman acted surprised. "Then George most have mistaken…" 

"Huh?" What did the woman's son have to do with anything? 

There was something vicious gleaming in her eyes, like she was searching for more gossip to spread around in the neighbourhood. "Oh it's probably nothing." The woman smiled smugly like she knew something that could stir up Kirsten's world. 

"What is it? What do you mean?" Kirsten's curiosity had been sparkled and if it wasn't for the fact that Mrs Blake often helped her out with charity she would have told the woman what she thought of her so instead she settled to find out what the woman was aiming for. Beside more gossip. 

. "I was just.." the older woman stopped herself. "No it's probably wrong anyway." Mrs Blake pretended not being able to say what was on her mind but she had already revealed too much not to wake up the curiosity. And that she knew. 

"Audrey," Kirsten said. "If you know something that you think that I should know I would appreciate if you told me so." She wanted to add the words "otherwise keep your mouth shut" but being the polite and well mannered person she was she refrained from saying anything more. It would only bring more fuel to everything. 

"I'm just wondering since George, my son, said he saw him at the mall an hour or so ago and he said he looked like he was in an awful hurry." She was dragging out her words like she'd expected some kind of reaction from Kirsten. But all the younger woman showed was a stone face. "And?" If that was all the information it was not much to come up with. Kirsten was about to leave when Mrs Blake added quickly the words that made the situation turn around all of a sudden. 

"You don't see..George told me that Ryan got an detention and that he was suppose to be in class at the same time as he was seen in the mall. Talking with a woman outside Starbucks." The woman talked slowly like she was sucking on a sweet, wanting to see a result of what her words may do to Mrs Cohen. 

So **that** was what the woman was aiming for!!!! 

Kirsten would be lying if she said that the words didn't affect her. First she realised that Ryan had been in for a detention and that was why they were late at class. Her foster son had told her that the reason for him being late was that he had some stuff he had to do and therefore had decided to sit and work on math. A twitch of anger came over her, mainly because he'd lied to her. But it was the last words that had her temper rising as well as her heart pounding. Ryan had been seen with a woman outside Starbucks. Talking. In her mind that could only mean that he was seeing his mom and even if she didn't want to admit it this hurt her. The fact that he'd been lying to her. 

"Was it an older woman?" Kirsten felt her tone go weak and she had to clarify her throat so that Mrs Blake wouldn't hear how upset she felt. 

"George didn't say." Mrs Blake said. "But if you want I can ask him and then I can give you a call." 

"No that's ok." Kirsten forced a smile back to the woman. She'd heard enough. "I have to get going. Seth needs his medicine." Suddenly she just had to get out off the drugstore. Get away from the curious woman. 

"I hope he is getting well soon." There was a false concern as Mrs Blake moved along. Kirsten had no doubt that the gossipy woman would soon be on the phone, telling each and everyone that wanted to hear that the Cohen's foster son was lying to them and was no doubt dealing drugs or something similar like that. 

It didn't bother her as much as the fact that Ryan had been lying to her.


	4. Beneath the Surface Chapter 4

  
Thanks for the reviews :) I really appreciate them LOL Also for the editing I'm not english so I am doing my best and if there are any one out there that would like to beta read and help me correct the grammar ( you know we have different word following in the language I speak) I would be more than happy to have that kind of help :) If there are anyone oút there this is my mail; hemlunda2000yahoo.se. 

Thanks again for the reviews :) 

Beneath the surface - Chapter 4 

The ride back the Cohen's went in silence. Neither Kirsten nor Ryan said anything since both of them were too occupied with other things on their mind. Kirsten was thinking of the news she heard over at the drugstore, gossip no doubt but still…, and now she was trying to find out a way to approach her foster son without sounding too accusing. If it had been Seth that had lied about such an issue she would have hit his butt but this was Ryan and Kirsten never knew how to have a conversation with him. He was too much of the silent type and those people always made her a bit uneasy 

Ryan stared out of the window. His thoughts trailed off towards his mother and even though he could feel the letter safely tucked inside his shirt he was still wondering what news she had for him. He was also afraid what the letter would say. With Dawn you never knew what to expect, that was one thing he came to conclusion during the years with her. The life she was living left much to desire and her drug and alcohol abuse had scared him more than once. He hoped that this wasn't one of those letters when she said goodbye to him and he was left on his own again. Ok it wasn't entire on his own since he had the Cohen's and they had asked to adopt him as their son. Even if he knew that he would be safe and sound no matter what the letter made him feel sick to his stomach and groaned involuntary. Kirsten most has sensed his discomfort since she was fast with her words. 

"Everything's all right?" 

He could tell that the concerned blue eyes were doing their best to decide whether or not there were an emergency and he smiled back at her, reassuringly. 

"Yeah I'm fine." 

"Good." 

He'd steeled himself for more questions and was a bit surprise when none of them happened. Instead she turned her attention back to the wheel again. Ryan however wasn't so sure that she wouldn't bring up what was bothering her another time and even if he didn't want to think it he thought that he might have something to do with the situation. She'd acted weird ever since she came back from the drugstore, like something was bothering her and she was about to spill it out. Silently he tried to figure out what it could be but stopped after a while. Kirsten had looked at him several times and some of them he opened his mouth like she wanted to talk but then closed it just as fast again. This was not the Kirsten that Ryan knew. Usually Mrs Cohen was very talkative and the subject that she didn't dare to bring up hadn't been invented yet. That was until now… 

Parking the car Kirsten announced that they were back at his house and Ryan quickly excused himself that he had to go to the bathroom and then he was going to a short nap before dinner. With that he walked quickly into the pool house, closing the door beside him. He wanted, no he needed to be alone since he wanted to read the letter in peace and quiet. To his surprise Kirsten had accepted the excuse without any questions and soon he would find himself all alone in the poorhouse. Pulling the envelope out from under his shirt he tossed it on the bedspread and then proceeded to take off his sweater. It was hot in the pool house and mentally he decided to turn down the thermostat. 

Catching a glance at the envelope he found that it was stamped which meant that she had thought of posting it but then had changed her mind. For some strange reason he felt his stomach flutter with nervousness at the mere thought of reading the letter and for a moment he toyed with the idea of not opening it. What if his mother was leaving him again? Forever? The curiosity got the best out of him and with that he picked up the envelope, wondering what wise words his mother had left for him. Probably not many since Dawn were not a woman of many words. Not like Kirsten who was well educated and well-behaved. She had class. Not like his mother that barely had graduated out of high school. 

Fingering on the envelope he noticed that it was stained, probably coffee stain since his mom was such a coffee addict. That was the liquid she used when she was trying to sober up after a binge of drinking and Ryan couldn't even count the times when he'd tried to get her into shape before going down to the club and work as a waitress. A familiar scent could be noticed from the envelope. It was the scent of his mom's sweet cheap perfume mixed with the wine she'd been drinking. Not that he thought that paper could catch the scent; no it was more the memories that dwelled up inside of him. 

Memories from when he was a little boy sitting on his moms lap. That was way before she started to drink all the time and before the only smell that filled the room was the cheap alcohol she and her men consumed on daily basis. Grinning he decided that he could laugh himself lucky that Seth was out with the flu today since he would have called him a perv if he was to walk in on him, sniffing on an envelope. 

Just when he was about to open the letter the phone gave away a shrill signal. With a groan he rolled out off bed and then walked over by the table. Who could be calling him now? Very few knew about his private telephone number and mostly all calls were directed to the main house. The only person that really phoned him was Marissa and tonight she had gone to a dinner with her dad and Summer had no interest in calling him. It was Seth she was after. 

"Ryan here." He called out since he knew that whoever called him would know him pretty well. To his surprise there was nothing but silence on the other line. "He did another attempt, " Hello??" Still no words and he were about to hung up when a wheezy breathing could be heard on the other line. Hearing this Ryan called out, "Hello is it someone there? Marissa? Summer? Seth?" He knew that the last words was kind of stupid to call out for but there were always an possibility that Seth had gotten tired of laying around in his sick bed and wanted to play a prank on him. It would be stupid enough. 

The silence was there again and annoyed that some kid, a prank caller, breathed into the phone he asked, "Who are you?" At that very moment the person on the other line hung up and Ryan groaned with dismay. He was in no mood for getting disturbed, especially not when he was about to finally find out what his mom wanted him. His heart pounded widely when he made his way back to the bed again. Opening the envelope he pulled the letter out only to notice that it was his mother's handwriting. His hands were shaking so bad that he had a hard time reading the letter. 

_Ryan sweetie. _

You probably wonder why I'm sending you this letter but there are some things that I have to explain. First of all I'm going to have to leave the city for a while. I know that probably wondering why but I can't tell you that. All I can say is that it's for the better and that I will miss you while I'm gone. I'm sure that you're doing great over at the Cohen's and that they are nice and all. It's better this way. Trust me honey. I will miss you and don't try to come looking for me. It will..I mean…Oh I don't know what to write so I think I will leave off for now. See you later honey and take care. 

Dawn 

Ps. Don't try and contact me…I call you. 

The words danced in front of his eyes. What did she mean? That she was leaving him for good? Why wasn't he allowed to contact her? Was she in some kind of trouble? Nothing made any sense and Ryan read the letter over and over again. Where was she going and why couldn't she tell him where she went? There were so many questions, yet so few answers. His thoughts were disturbed when a sudden knock could be heard on the door. Quickly he hid the letter under his pillow and then turned around only to see Seth standing there in his navy blue bathrobe and slippers. His brown hair was sticking up in all kinds of directions and the red blotches on his cheeks told him that they were red from fever and his nose looked like a stop sign in colour. Fire truck red. In other words he looked like sheer and utter hell. 

"Mom said you might be in here since she said you weren't feeling one hundred percent." Seth's voice is thick almost dark, like he was going through puberty, with the cold he's suffering from. "You busy?" 

"Nah, its ok but what you're doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed?" 

Not answering Seth paddles over to the bed before sitting down on the soft bed. A harsh coughs and then he blow his nose with a well worn tissue. Loudly. Ryan's makes a face. The way his friend is acting he's just going to spread germs all place and by the look of it the flu isn't much better, if you don't count that he isn't turning his stomach inside out any longer. "Man that doesn't sound too good. Shouldn't you be in bed instead of running around outside?" 

"Prolly," Seth sniffles. "I've got to talk to you about something." He lays down on the bed and then roll to his side. "It's about Summer." 

"Ok." Ryan sighs. The letter would have to wait, not that he can do much about it anyways. "So what do you wanna talk to me about?" 

"You saw her today?" 

"Who?" Ryan frowned. 

"Summer of course. You saw her?" 

"No. Why?" Seth groaned. "She didn't call me after school. You think she might have caught the flu bug too?" 

"Wouldn't surprise me the way you two have been playing tongue hockey lately." "I know." Seth smiled briefly then he got serious again. "But she didn't call me. She always calls me if I'm sick or something. We call each other." His tone was whiny and it was giving Ryan a headache. 

"So?" What was the big deal? Ryan could feel himself getting annoyed. Maybe it was the fact that he had much more important stuff on his mind and the last thing he wanted to do was to deal with Seth's trouble with love. He didn't have the patience for it yet he said with a reassuring tone, "I'm sure it's nothing. She was probably busy or something you know going to a dinner or stuff. Marissa had to go to a dinner tonight so maybe she went along." 

"You think?" Seth looked like he was in deep thoughts while he was blowing his nose several times. Ryan nodded, hoping that the answers would be enough and that Seth would settle for it but he didn't have to wait long before his foster brother filled in with his doubts. "Dude that's Marissa. I'm talking about Summer." 

"Duh…"Ryan shook his head. What was so different with Summer besides hat she was Seth's girlfriend and that he were so in love with her. "What do you mean? Why would she be any different? They are both girls." He was starting to regret not telling his foster brother that he wanted to be alone. 

"I think she might be tired of me." 

"Tired? Why?" The blonde teenager frowned. Seth didn't make much sense today. Not that he did much sense any other day either. Today however he suspected it was because of the illness. 

"She hasn't called me." The teen was absolutely serious and there were genuine panic in his voice. "I think she maybe has a new guy." 

Ryan groaned inwardly. He had to come up with a solution or he would have to his foster brother jabbing all night and that was more than he could take. "Seth calm down. Summer can't keep her hands off you and she only likes you and that you know besides she probably thought you needed the rest, which you do by the way since you look like you're gonna pass out any second. I think you should go back inside and rest. " He hopes that the words will do it and that his friend gets more relaxed and also take the hint that he wanted to be alone. 

But Seth took no such hint and instead he lay down on the bed, his hands under his head. "Tell me about school today. Something interesting happened? I'm bored." 

"Huh?" Ryan didn't know what to say. Not much had happened besides him getting the detention but that was not something he would reveal right now. Then maybe would the stunt he pulled going to the mall be found out and then they would start asking questions and that was not something he could afford right now. First he had to do his own investigations about his mom's whereabouts before Seth Cohen was filled into the situation. 

"Something fun happened? You know like there was a fight or something?" Seth pressed on making Ryan sigh in the process. The blonde was doing his best to come up with something to say when he noticed Seth put his hand under the pillow. 'Oh God,' Ryan thought, 'Please don't let him find the letter.' 

But it was too late. 

"What's this?" Seth asked waving the letter in his hand, curiosity shining in his eyes. 

"That?" Ryan's throat went all dry and he had a hard time swallowing. The last person he wants to read the letter is Seth. At least for now. It would only lead to that the Cohen's would find out and then all hell would break loose. Ryan's own idea of investigating where his moms where about would go down the drain. 

"Yes this," Seth grins like a cat that caught the bird: "Are you hiding something? Is it a love letter?" All of a sudden his concern about Summer seems all forgotten. 

"No! Give it to me." Ryan reached out to snatch it but Seth won't let go off the prize. 

"Is it a letter from Marissa?" When there are no answer he continue, "From that girl you know back in Chino, Theresa? 

"No." Ryan shook his head, "I said give it to me." He swore that if Seth wouldn't let it go he was going to use violence but he didn't want to use it if it wasn't necessary since something told him that Kirsten wouldn't been too happy if he wrestled with her sick son. 

"Is it Sondra then? You know the blonde at junior class. She has been looking at you all the time. "Seth grinned smugly and Ryan felt an urge to wipe that smug smile off his face. 

"No, hand me the letter or I will be forced to use violence." Then he stopped himself. "Sondra who?" His foster brother could be so confusing sometimes. 

"No one. Just checking if you were listening," Seth grinned. 

Irritated Ryan did another attempt to try to snatch the letter before he had decided to turn into more forceful methods. Even tough Seth is sick he can be in a teasing mood and normally he would have played along but today there were too many thoughts crossing his mind and he was in no mood for playing hide and seek. "I said give it to me.! His tone was harsh. 

It had to be something in the way his brother acted since he instantly got the letter back. "Jeeeze dude I was just kidding." Seth looked a bit hurt and normally that would have made Ryan feel a bit bad but today he did his best to protect the secret for coming out. The secret that his mom had left him. All alone again. Not answering Ryan folded it several times and then tucked it into his pants pocket. Seth most has sensed that his brother wanted to be alone since he jumped swiftly off the bed. "I have to go back inside. Mom will get totally mad if she finds out that I'm out here running a fever." 

"Yeah do that." Ryan's words were short. 

"You're coming in for dinner?" 

"Mmmm." Ryan's thoughts had once again travelled back to his mother's words and what step he was suppose to take next. He had never been one to follow orders and he was determined to find out why she had left so quickly. Dawn had left many times but never in this way. There were something fishy going on, he just knew it. 

"You want us to call when it's dinner time?" Seth asked standing in the door opening, in the draft, looking all forlorn. It was like he didn't want to leave and if Ryan would have been in a better mood he would have asked him to stay but this time he really wanted to be alone. 

"Sure." 

"Ok, see ya then." Finally Seth took the hint and left. As soon as he was out of the room Ryan started to make other plans and a thought popped up in his mind. He was going to make contact with his older brother Trey. Dawn might have talked to him and maybe he had even more information why their mother had left so sudden. With that on his mind he picked up the phone dialling the number to the state prison. 


	5. Beneath the Surface Chapter 5

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Beneath the surface - Chapter 5 

"Jerk!" Ryan muttered as he hung up the phone. Mentally he slapped himself for calling Trey. He should have known by now that everything that involved his brother would be a mistake but still he'd done it. He'd called him even if he should have listened to that inner voice that told him that it was a stupid idea. It always ended up the same way. Fighting. And this was no different. After talking the courtesy talk Ryan had asked if his brother had any idea where his mom's whereabouts could be and that question lead to his brother blowing a fuse. Trey had told him that he, Ryan should be happy with staying at the Cohen's and stop being so nosy, butting into to other peoples lives. 

When Ryan had asked with as calm tone as he could muster what was the matter with Trey he got the answer that he should be careful so he wouldn't end up in Juvie again. Ryan felt confused. Why was his brother talking like that? All he had asked for was if Trey had heard anything from their mom and this resulted in his brother calling him an ungrateful son of a bitch and that he was the one that had left them to go and live with the rich and famous. That outburst was so out of place and when Ryan had wondered if Trey was on something a fight had broke out. They had started to call each other bad names, just like the days when they were living together as a family, but those had really gone bad when Trey accused him of being the one that had left the family and that it was his fault that his mother was missing. 

The conversation had ended abruptly when the words, "At least I'm not being a looser like you are," had slipped out off Ryan's mouth. Accidentally. Trey had shouted at him that he didn't have to call back again and then hung up on him. 

Sitting there staring into the wall Ryan knew that what he had said was wrong. Yet he couldn't help it. There had been so many pent up feelings dwelling inside him and when Trey had acted so rude to him he had just snapped. This hurt more than he wanted to admit since even if his older brother was acting like the biggest jerk on earth and his mom was always drunk they were his family. He liked Kirsten, Sandy and Seth, even if he had never come out and told them so, however even if he lived with them they were not his family. The ones that he grew up. The Cohen's had taken him in like he was some kind of puppy that needed the love and affection, especially when his own family was giving him hell. Strangely he missed Dawn. She might not have been the best of mother's, heck she wasn't even trying to act like one but she was his flesh and blood. And so was Trey even if he didn't want to admit it. 

Ryan had always been the protective one in his family. He was the one that had looked after his mother when she had passed out punch drunk on the sofa. He was the one that helped her get to bed and also placed a cool cloth on her forehead after placing a pail beside her. He was the one that made sure that they had food in the refrigerator, even if that meant he had to steal money or groceries to do so. And he was the one that always tried to listen and brighten her up when she cried over old boyfriends that had beaten her up. It was a weird situation since the roles were reversed. He was the parent and she was his child. 

Trey on the other hand was the one that was always out there, trying to pick up a new deal or a new scope. He was the adventurous one and there were numbers of times when Ryan had to take care of his drunken brother who got his face smashed up after a fight. Even if Ryan wasn't exactly the best kid in the neighbourhood he was the one that always put his family in first hand and when his older brother had told him that he was the one that had left them something inside him had snapped and he was sure that if he had Trey here he would have beaten him into an bloody pulp. 

"I'm such an idiot," Ryan groaned as he lay down on his bed. Today had been nothing but one giant mistake and he wished he had never woken up or that he at least gotten that damned flu bug that was torturing Seth. Then he wouldn't be fucking up everything that crossed his way, wouldn't have hurt people that meant a lot to him. He had fucked up at everything and the way he'd acted he had lost people that meant a lot to me him today. It was like he was trapped in this evil spinning circle where there were no easy way out. Closing his eyes he could feel a pounding headache inside his skull yet he couldn't rest since all the thoughts that came popping up in his head either involved his mother or Trey. 

Sandy Cohen turned down the ignition key and then gathered all of his papers, tucking them safely in his briefcase. Massaging his stiff neck he walked slowly out off the car. It had been a hard day's work and the case he was working on was a tough nut to crack. He was going up for court tomorrow and if things didn't change he was afraid that he would loose the case. 

When walking into the kitchen he was instantly met with a thick silence that told him that something was going on. It didn't help that Kirsten had called him at work and he had heard in her voice that there were something bothering her too. What she wouldn't reveal. 

"Hey Rosa." He greeted the maid with a smile before laying his keys and briefcase on the kitchen counter. "Is dinner ready soon?" Leaning over the casserole he took in the smell. "Ah this smells good." 

The older woman smiled back. "Good afternoon Mr Cohen and yes dinner should be ready in a few minutes." 

"That sounds good." Sandy loosened his tie. "I'm starving." Noticing the silence in the house he asked, "Is Kirsten at home yet?" 

"Yes," Rosa nodded. "Mrs Cohen is upstairs with young Mr Seth." 

Sandy frowned. He thought that Seth was doing much better. **"Kirsten?" **he called out as he walked towards the stairs. Soon his wife appeared in the staircase with a tired expression on her face. 

"Sandy can you be a bit quieter. Seth is finally asleep." 

"Ok." It never ceased to amaze him the way his wife acted like their son still was three years old when he in reality was sixteen. When she had come down the stairs he hugged her from behind and then whispered in her ear, "Rough day honey?" 

Kirsten, who didn't seem to be in a mood for any cuddling snarled, "What do you think with two sick teenagers in the house?" 

"Two?" Sandy raised his eyebrow. "Did Ryan finally catch the flu bug too?" 

"I don't know." Running a hand over her face in with a tired gesture she continued with a sigh, "Sometimes I don't understand that boy. He is acting so strange." 

"Ryan is not sick then?" This was not like his wife to say something like that. Before he had a chance to ask any further what she meant she told him about her worries over Ryan. 

"Sandy, do you think that he is doing drugs?" There was genuine concern in her voice as she concluded her story. 

"Drugs?" That question surprised him. "No. Why would you ask something like that? Do you suspect him for that?" 

" No." She shook her head, and then shrugged. "Oh I don't know. Why else do you think he would be at the mall?" 

"Kirsten. We don't know for sure that he was there. So far it's only Audrey's story and we all know how reliable that bitch can be." 

Kirsten had to smile. "Yeah you probably right. Audrey is the worst tattle teller there is." 

"See. There you go." He did his best to calm his worried wife down. "Didn't his teacher say that he was sick to his stomach? Wasn't that why he went home?" 

"Yes but…." 

"Then that's probably all there is." He interrupted her with a kiss on her neck. "I think Rosa is done with the dinner now. Come on let's go and eat." Taking her hand he steered her towards the kitchen, doing his best to do a diversion to take her thoughts off Ryan and her worries. 

It didn't work. 

"Sandy! He didn't tell me that he was late because of a detention and he is being really secretive. I have a feeling that he is hiding something from us." 

"Don't all teenage boys do that?" Sandy laughed. Seeing his wife's upset expression he cleared his throat. "Kirsten that's the age he is. He **should **be hiding some thing's from his parents. That's a normal thing to do." 

"Seth never did that." Kirsten interrupted. 

"I said that it's what normal boys do." 

Kirsten slapped her husbands arm. "Sandy!" 

"I know. I know that was bad." He held up a hand protectively. Feeling that he was on a non safe territory he added, "So honey if you're that worried about Ryan did you talk to him about it?" 

Kirsten bit her lip. "No." 

"No?" Sandy frowned. "You haven't spoken to Ryan about your worries?" 

"Uh huh." 

"Why?" 

"Because that is just what they are. Worries." Kirsten let out her breath. "Besides he wouldn't talk to me anyway." 

"Yes he would." 

"No." She shook her head. "He doesn't talk to me. Ok he does talk but not about feelings. Not about thing's that are bothering him. Sometimes I think it's better if I left him alone." 

Sandy couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Kirsten this is not like you to give up that easily, besides you might have one sick son out there all alone in the pool house." 

"He is not sick Sandy." Kirsten sighed. 

"Oh I thought you said he was?" 

"Well he isn't. Ok he might be sick but not with the flu. There is something else that is bothering him and talking about it just won't get him better." 

"You don't know if you don't try." 

That had Kirsten blowing a fuse. "Sandy don't come and say that I don't try because I do." His wife's voice went up a knot. "Every time I try to ask him how he is doing he always turns silent and tells me that he is fine, even though I know that's nothing but a lie." She was shouting now. "I just can't seem to get him to open up. And it's not my problem. It's Ryan's" 

At that last comment they all heard a cough and turning around they were met with Ryan standing there, wide-eyed with red blotchy cheeks. He fidgeted nervously. "Eh..Uh..Sorry I was just going to ask if you had any Tylenol." Both Kirsten and Sandy blushed from embarrassment. This was not a conversation that their foster son needed to hear. 


	6. Beneath the Surface Chapter 6

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Authors note: First I have to thank two wonderful people that wrote me on my birthday actually and volountered to beta read for me. Hands up for Famous99 and Joey51. Thank you so very very much. You rock. This chapter you are about to read is actually Famous99 doing that its being readable :) If you hold your horses you will also see that this whole story will be beta read and maybe finally you get to read it without all my swe-english misstakes :) Ok enough of the speech right now. Let's go back to some action... 

Beneath the surface - Chapter 6 

The silence in the kitchen was absolutely deafening. After Ryan interrupted their conversation, Kirsten claimed a migraine and went to bed. Since Seth was still asleep, this left Sandy and Ryan to eat dinner alone, or more accurately; Sandy eating while Ryan mostly picked at his food, shuffling it around on the plate. 

Even though he didn't want them to, his thoughts constantly turned back to the words he'd heard Kirsten say. It had scared him badly, not so much the words, as the reality that he'd hurt her. Ryan waited for Sandy to say the magic words, signalling him to pack his bags and leave the family. It was his way off solving problems at least for the minute. Whenever he'd done something that wasn't approved of, one of his mom's old boyfriends would give the signal, which often contained the words, "Get the hell out of here before I knock your skull in." After that he would pack his bags and then scurry out of the room to either live on the streets or at some friend's house, until things had settled down and they were ready to take him in again. 

Swallowing hard, Ryan felt his stomach flutter.He'd lost the little appetite he had and instead he concentrated on dissecting the potatoes like it was some kind of science experiment. 

"You all right kid?" Sandy's voice cut through his thoughts, making him start in the process. 

"Eh..Uh…what?" He could see Mr. Cohen looking at him. "Yeah..yeah." Ryan ran his hand through his hair. "I was just thinking about something. Spacing out you know." He gave a weak smile. 

"Ok." Sandy didn't press further; instead he attempted to get the teenager to talk. "So how was school today ?" Unlike his wife, it had never been a problem to get Ryan to open up. Maybe it was because he felt that he knew the kid and that kids like Ryan needed time to reveal what was on their mind. Today however the teen was as silent as a clam. 

"Ok I guess, " the young man muttered without looking up from his plate. 

"Kirsten said that you stayed after school to do some homework. Is that so?" 

Upon hearing the question, Ryan felt his stomach churn. This was it! Now Sandy would start with the inquisition and then after he found out Ryan lying to him Sandy would kick him out of the house. Deep inside he knew that it was old ghosts talking but the mere thought of having to leave the Cohens and go back to living out in the street made him break out in a cold sweat although "Eh..Uh..Yeah, you know lots of work." He swallowed noisily, which had Sandy looking at him strangely. 

"Can be tiring eh?" 

"Mmm..A little." Ryan took a swig from his glass. "Actually not too bad, but I have a huge assignment that is due for tomorrow." He thought back at the extra reading he had to do. 

While Sandy went on with small talk about Ryan mostly picked at his food again. Feeling distracted. Sandy didn't take his eyes off Ryan, who started to shift uncomfortably in his seat; still not meeting the older man's eyes. This was pure torture not knowing what Sandy's next move would be. At least with AJ he had known what would happen. Usually a blow to his head or a fist in his stomach. 

"Is that all you're going to eat? Sandy pointed with his fork at Ryan's untouched plate. "That's not much for a growing teenager." 

"Uh..I'm not..not very hungry." Ryan could feel himself blushing. "Sorry." 

"That's okay, son." Sandy's tone was gentle. "Is your stomach bothering you? Kirsten told me that you might be coming down with Seth's flu and that you were sent home from school. 

"No not really." The teenager hung his head. "It's probably nothing. Just a little upset stomach." Seeing the escape route he so desperately needed, he added sheepishly, "May I be excused? I've got to start working on that paper. You know, the one that's due tomorrow." 

Sandy nodded. "Yes do that." When the young man stood up and picked up his plate he added with a concerned voice, "Son, don't overdo it. If you don't feel all that great it's better to rest. The paper can wait." 

"I won't." Feeling like he had to get out off the room or he would burst or even worse cry, e stood up and walked towards the kitchen sink. "Tell Rosa that the dinner was great." He could hear Sandy chuckle in the back. 

"I'll do that kid, although I don't think you ate very much." 

"Sorry." Ryan blushed. God he had to stop doing this as well as apologizing. 

"It's okay." Sandy's warm eyes looked at him. "I'm not that hungry either." Walking over to Ryan, he placed his hand on the teen's shoulder. "You've been awfully quiet this evening. Is there something bothering you kid?" 

Ryan swallowed hard. He had a chance to tell someone that he knew cared for him about his problems. Instead, he stood there like a nerd, unable to say anything. He wanted so desperately to ask Sandy if they would kick him out of the house, and if Kirsten was very upset with him. But all he could do was stand there like a moron. 

The older man was the first to finally broach the subject. "Listen, Ryan if it's what Kirsten said earlier when you walked into the kitchen, you shouldn't read too much into that. She can be blunt sometimes and I know that she didn't mean what she said." He looked straight into the teenager's eyes. 

Ryan felt his body break out into cold sweat. So this was it. Sandy was giving the goodbye speech. He waited nervously for the "but" to come. Instead the older man continued, "You know how you sometimes say stupid things without meaning it even if you had a good meaning behind it?" 

The young man nodded. His throat was dry and he felt like he was close to a panic attack. He was so scared because where would he go if he was told to leave? His mother wasn't around and his brother and dad were in jail. He would be out on the streets. Not that it would be a problem if it came to that. No, it was more that he had let the Cohens down when they had been so good to take him in. He could feel his muscles tense while he waited for the bomb to drop. 

"Well, that's what Kirsten did. Her concern for you made her say things that she didn't mean and it all came out so wrong. She's afraid that you don't like it here and knowing my wife she is afraid that you would think that we don't want you here. Which, by the way, is not true." Sandy looked at the teenager, "Do you think you can forgive her? Think you can forgive me?" 

Noticing Ryan's doubts he continued, "Kirsten has a good heart and she means well, even if it sometimes comes out wrong. I know that she likes you very much and she wants you to live with us." He breathed in. "We all want you live here." 

"'kay." Even though he felt relieved, it also made Ryan feel even more uncomfortable than before. All this attention was new to him and he fidgeted. "Is it okay if I go now?" 

"Sure." Sandy let his hand drop. "Do you need anymore Tylenol? Need anything for that stomach of yours?" 

Ryan shook his head. "No. I'm fine." God that phrase seemed to be the only thing he could say lately. He sounded like a broken record. From the look he received from the older man, he could tell that Sandy didn't believe him. 

"Okay, let me know if you start to feel worse or if you need any more medication. We don't want you to be sick alone in the pool house do we?" He chuckled but Ryan could see the concern shining in his eyes. 

"I guess not." The teen forced a smile in return, despite feeling like he would throw up if he didn't get out of this tense situation in a hurry. "Don't worry. I'm just tired." Another one of those lies that he was so great at telling. If he told it enough times maybe they would become the truth. 

"If you say so." Sandy wasn't that easily fooled. "Listen kid, if there's something on your mind that you feel the need to talk about, I'm here to listen." He patted the teenager on his back. "Now go to bed. God knows that you look like you need it. I'll come and check up on you later on." 

"'kay." Ryan faked a yawn then mumbled a short, "thanks," before he scurried off to the pool house. The moment he was alone he let out a long breath he hadn't even been aware that he was holding it in. Ryan felt so many different emotions going on inside of him, he didn't know which way to turn. One minute he was certain Sandy was going to throw him out and the next Sandy was asking for him to understand and forgive Sitting down on the bed he let his shoulders drop. The headache that had accompanied him most of the day was still there, lurking behind his eyes. The queasy feeling he felt in his stomach was there too and he decided that it was his nerves playing a trick on him. Deep inside he wished he hadn't been such a fool and that he had told Sandy about his mother's phone call, but now he felt as if it were too late. Lying down on his bed Ryan closed his eyes. He tried to think about something other than the churning sensation in his stomach.After lots of tossing and turning he was finally able to relax and soon fell into another restless sleep. 


End file.
